It’s hard to believe how fast time flies. It feels like just yesterday that you were helping me on my 3rd grade science project, and now here I am, just a few days away from the biggest day of my life. I’ve been doing my best to let the reality of marriage sink in, taking a few moments each day to reflect on all those in my life who have instilled in me the wisdom and integrity I will need to start a family of my own. Every time I have one of these moments, I think of you. This weekend marks the first anniversary of your passing, and I can’t help but think how much you would have loved to be here to commemorate this momentous occasion in my life. I still thank the Lord that he brought you to Philadelphia last year to spend your final moments here with me. You breathed your last surrounded by those who loved you most and whose lives you have forever impacted. How fitting it will be for our family to come together this weekend not to mourn, but to celebrate the gift of life graciously given to us by our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ whose model of unconditional love and sacrifice will forever guide the way Carol and I cherish one another as husband and wife. The next few days will undoubtedly be hectic, but 할아버지, you will not be forgotten. I won’t see you this weekend, but I’ll see you soon enough. I love you.
I woke up this morning and realized that it’s almost been ten years since I’ve been home for Mother’s Day. I’ve become somewhat accustomed to sending my mom flowers and cards by mail each year, and I’m sure she too has become accustomed to this annual ritual. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I’m extra nostalgic these days with the wedding approaching and all, but this morning was the first time in a long time that I sincerely thanked the Lord for her presence in my life and for all the many years of sacrifice she put into raising me. Ten years worth of gifts and e-cards could not even begin to scratch the surface of what this woman has done for me. Happy Mother’s Day, 엄마. I love you.
Let me start by saying that I am absolutely on the Tim Tebow bandwagon. I’ve been following this guy since college, and while I did agree to some extent with the many analysts who doubted his ability to be a top-flight quarterback in the NFL, I’ve always wanted to see him succeed. I think I speak for a lot of people when I say that it is extremely difficult not to root for this guy. He works ridiculously hard, never criticizes his naysayers, serves his community, and…well, wins. He is the epitome of the underdog we all love so much and undoubtedly the inspiration to every Rudy out there waiting for that big moment.
Now that the Broncos have won six straight in crunch time under his leadership, I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say that he may be the most compelling figure in sports at the moment. Never have I seen so many tweets, articles, and blog entries about a guy who is not even close to being the best player in his sport. Even my friends who have no interest in football whatsoever turn on Sportscenter to watch Tebow highlights. With each unfathomable victory, the legend of Tebow grows. It’s been less than 24 hours since the Broncos’ improbable win over the Bears and I’ve already heard countless analysts and fans attribute Tebow’s unexplainable success to “divine intervention.” One radio announcer I was listening to this morning even went as far as to say that Tim Tebow was the sole reason he decided to start attending church. Apparently, this man was willing to believe in whatever it was that was helping Tebow win.
It is not a secret that Tebow is a devout Christian. His faith has always been at the forefront of any conversation about his abilities as a football player. It is the one thing that seems to polarize the general public about him. And while there are hundreds of athletes who get down on one knee after a touchdown or thank God after they’ve won the big game, there are few athletes who are as open and bold about their faith as Tebow. But whether you love him or hate him, you have to respect a guy who never shies away from what he believes. Especially in an industry that encourages bravado and self-glorification, Tebow’s humility is a rare gem.
But here’s the problem that Tebow presents for both Christians and non-believers. For Christians (myself included), Tebow has been somewhat of a Christ-like figure who fights against the dark forces of evil each week (if you don’t believe me, you should read some of the things people have been tweeting about him). Most of it is in good fun, but I can see how some non-Christians might take offense to the assertion that Tebow is somehow the manifestation of God’s justice on earth. Such claims turn every Broncos game into a test of God’s power and favor (a big no-no).
The biggest issue I see though is not with Christians, but rather with non-believers who may be contemplating coming to faith in Christ because of Tebow’s recent success. All this talk about divine intervention (which makes for really interesting conversation) in the media sells the misconceived notion that God helps believers achieve their earthly goals. While this may be true to some extent, it also puts unguarded observers at risk of buying into a prosperity gospel that preaches success, not Christ, to its followers. I’m sure Tebow would be the first to say that his faith isn’t a product of or a means to his success on the football field. Tebow’s relationship with Christ is the source of his identity and worth whether he loses every game the rest of the season or goes on to win the Super Bowl. My hope is that, even if Tebow does not go on to become the next Joe Montana, people would not relate his earthly accolades (or lack thereof) to his eternal ones.
All this to say, I have an incredible amount of respect and admiration for Tim Tebow. I hope he continues to be a light to a world that is now watching him extremely closely. Will I be rooting for him next week against Brady and the Pats? Of course. Will I tweet about the game afterward? Probably. If the Broncos win again in crunch time against our generation’s most iconic QB, will I overspiritualize the win by making some David and Goliath reference? I always do. Is God good whether Tebow wins or loses? Yup.
I’ve convinced myself that I won’t age but the leaves, they turn and the seasons change I’ve convinced myself that I won’t age And I’m scared to read beyond this page And I’m scared to read beyond this page
A beautiful rendition of one of my songs by the very talented Sam Ock!
This morning, on the way to work, I encountered a homeless man standing on the side of the road. He held a sign that read “I need something to eat…please help me.” What intrigued me about the sign was that the word “need” was actually written in small letters above another word that had been crossed out…want. I pulled over and introduced myself in the short time I had before the light turned green, all the while wondering at what point want became need for this man. At what point did something he crave become something he could not live without? When I asked him about it, he responded that “want” and “need” were basically the same things to him at this point in his life.
Want. Need. I never knew the two could coexist. I’ve always wanted things I didn’t need and needed things I didn’t want. When I was five, I didn’t want to eat my vegetables but was told I needed to. In high school, I didn’t want to study but was told I needed to. In college, I didn’t want to think about my future but was told I needed to. I could use some coffee right now, but I don’t need it. The new iPhone looks really tempting, but I don’t need it (I am eligible for an upgrade though). A vacation would be nice, but I don’t need one.
To a man with no home, no job, and no family, want and need are one and the same. I guess the less you have, the less you actually think you need. In other words, if want and need are on opposite sides of a spectrum, it seems they can only be brought together by a growing sense of brokenness and abandon. This idea is never more true than in a person’s relationship with the Lord. There have been times in my own life when I wanted to know Christ but didn’t think I needed Him. Then there have been times when I knew I needed Christ to save me but didn’t want to let him.
Lord, strip me of my pride, selfishness, and everything else I hold onto so tightly in this world that the marriage of want and need might truly be actualized in my pursuit of You.
It’s surreal to think that I’m now a college graduate, and you’re well on your way to getting married. Has it already been over 10 years since we walked home together from Carver Elementary or ate our share of chicken soft tacos in front of George Nye Library?
We’ve grown up. Our circumstances have changed. And I no longer have the luxury of being a mere foot away from your door. But I’m okay with that because I know you’ll always have my back. Aside from God Himself, you’re the only one who’s seen the ugliest, darkest, and most sinful parts of my heart and loved me nonetheless. Thank you.
Here’s to celebrating our God who loved me enough to send me an older brother like you.
Like many of you reading this, I still remember exactly where I was 10 years ago today. I was a wide-eyed, naive freshman at the University of Pennsylvania on my way to Astronomy 101 (don’t ask me why I took this class), eager to embark on a journey that I hoped would one day result in happiness, success, and security. Just two hours north of me, there were people in the Twin Towers who frankly could care less about these things. I’m sure many of them were like me once, wanting desperately to achieve the things this great country promised them. I’m sure they all had hopes and dreams and desires that they worked tirelessly to achieve. And yet, in that moment of transcendental truth, it seems that all of their lives suddenly became quite simple. In their final messages to loved ones, none of them mentioned wanting to visit Bora Bora one day or get married or finally buy that two-story house with a pool. In fact, most of them had few words to say at all except that they loved their families and wanted the best for them. It is in hearing such messages replayed over and over again on television that reminds us of how fleeting this life really is. We often work so hard investing in things that have zero eternal value. I will be the first to admit that so much of my life has been centered around creating the best possible situation for me. Sadly, it is only when I am confronted with an event as tragic as 9/11 that I realize how trivial my worldly pursuits really are. There is a line in one of my favorite worship songs that reads,“…and the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace.” I think I’m just beginning to understand what this means.
As we take the day to remember and mourn the thousands of lives that were lost in this tragedy, I pray that we would also take a moment to reflect meaningfully upon our own lives. I’m assuming such reflection might lead many of us to repentance. I know it did for me.
My guess is that, whether the Lord takes me home tomorrow or in fifty years, something in me will wish I could have done more for the kingdom while here on Earth. All I can really hope and pray for is that I would fix my eyes on Jesus and run hard with my neck strained toward the things of eternity.
It’s hard to believe that it’s almost been a year since I released my first solo EP. I generally don’t like to listen to my own music, but once in a while, I’ll feel like turning on one of my songs to see if I feel any differently about it than when I first wrote it. Today was one of those days, and I found myself feeling incredibly compelled to share with all of you the story behind Something I Said.
When I recorded this album, there was no doubt in my mind that this song would be the title track of the EP. The inspiration for the song actually comes from the book of Hosea, one of my favorite books in the Bible that tells the heartbreaking story of a man who must marry and love a woman he knows will cheat on him time and time again. The climax of the story occurs when Hosea finds himself at a slave market paying the price of a female slave to buy his own wife back. In this beautiful scene of utter brokenness and humility, Hosea takes Gomer home and says to her, “Thou shalt abide for me many days; thou shalt not play the harlot, and thou shalt not be for another man: so will I also be for thee.” (Hosea 3:3)
I remember reading this over and over again wondering what it would be like to be in a loveless marriage with an adulterous wife. I decided that I wanted to write a song that would capture the heart of a man who has no idea why his marriage with his wife has deteriorated and desperately wants to recapture a love that has been lost. In doing so, I spent a lot of time thinking about my own relationship with God, the consummate lover who pleads with me to come back to Him even when every ounce of my being wants to rebel, a God who watches me cheat on him daily in my worldly pursuits and yet willingly chooses to love me, a God who paid the ultimate price to buy me back.
The initial version of the song was a lot shorter because I thought it might be the most radio-friendly of all the songs on my EP. After some thought, I decided that being played on the radio wasn’t as important as getting the message across. Even if it meant adding another minute to the song, I knew I absolutely had to bring back the first verse at the end so as to signify the relentlessness of the man’s pursuit and the purity in his intent.
When all is said and done, all the man asks from his wife is that she remember her first love. There is no closure here because in many ways the story is so much more compelling without it.
Many of us often find ourselves in similarly dark places in our spiritual journeys when we feel as though we are no longer worthy of God’s love. I think there is a wonderful comfort in knowing that, no matter how far we think we’ve strayed from Him, He is always pleading with us to come back home.
Something I Said
Let’s take a drive down the road, Love, to the spot in the park with the trees and the waterfall and the bench where we met I’m on the porch you’re at the table, that’s how it is most nights You’re looking out through the window, I’m looking in at you
’Cause every time they come for you you leave your ring with me And I’m wondering when you’re coming back home and if you were ever mine
Don’t go to sleep, not tonight, Love, let’s stay awake for a while I know it’s late and you’re tired, but can I talk to you now Maybe we’ll find what we lost, Love, I pray that we do I’m pretty sure that I’m dying a little faster than you
’Cause every time they come for you you leave your ring with me And I’m wondering when you’re coming back home and if you were ever mine
Was it something I did, was it something I said to you Was it something I did, was it something I said to you
’Cause every time they come for you you leave your ring with me And I’m wondering when you’re coming back home and if you were ever mine
Let’s take a drive down the road, Love, to the spot in the park with the trees and the waterfall and the bench where we met
